I speak three languages
but each of them hides
a history of hurt
sutured scars
sewn over a graveyard
of disbelief and denial
Mandarin was yanked
from my mouth
they told me
it was a tooth I didn’t need
it’s the only language
I’m supposed to speak
but was never allowed to
English was shoved
down my throat
until I regurgitated it
without an accent
it’s the only language
I’m authorized to speak
yet it’s always a wonder
when I do
French was a choice
an act of resistance
I wanted to speak a language
waged without war
unbloodied by my body
yet still it’s a shock
when I speak it
delight dueling with disdain
but I refuse
to give in to the ghosts
this graveyard is a garden
it will grow again.
Sarena Tien is a queer Chinese American feminist who is currently a PhD student in French Literature at Cornell University. Once upon a time, she used to be so shy that two teachers once argued whether she was a “low talker” or a “no talker.” She’s since learned how to scream, and her writing has appeared in online publications such asThe Feminist Wire, Bustle, On She Goes,Entropy,Argot, and Decoded Pride.
Latest posts by Sarena Tien (see all)
- Honeybriar - 18th September 2022
- Where Languages Die - 20th June 2021
- These Lies Made of Gold - 6th September 2020