Slides into your DM fast as lightening
In more ways than one.
Feeds you some bull about love at first swipe.
Blocks you immediately after sex.
Un-ironically wears Hawaiian shirts & shell necklaces.
Can hang ten but not onto a job.
Lives in his parents beach house.
Emotions outburst roll in like waves.
Sends you pics of his one-eye monster.
Dionysus “Big D”
Chaotic bisexual ex-theatre geek.
The original fuck boy.
Shows up on your date already drunk
“U UP?” he texts.
All his profile pics are #gymselfies
Or of his “hot ride”.
Ex-military and will let you know IMMEDIATELY
His go-to response when you don’t answer :
“Whatever, you look a bitch anyway. FUCK YOU”.
Swipe left please.